Flex Off and Prague Castle

The Major and I have always suffered from insomnia, but I fear he has always had it to a far greater degree. Oats, on the other hand, can be out as soon as his head hits the pillow and has the amazing power of “morning fortitude” (not that kind ladies). It seems that regardless of alcohol consumed or actual hours asleep, he will be “up and at ‘em”. Be it battling nature, invading forces or foolish upstarts, he will throw himself in as if he has slept solidly through winter. Unfortunately he does have the tendency to snore and sometimes talk in his sleep. It was his low buzz saw droning that woke me on our first night in the dorm in Prague. Imagine, if you will, the scene of myself lying in the bottom bunk of a rudely build double decker bed, the good Captain in the corresponding bunk above and opposite me, the Major is propping himself up with one arm, while pouring cool water over his exposed chest from a bottle in his other hand.

Luckily we move on from the Major flexing at me and the Captain’s sleep-talk of “I’ve got the cream…” and “Want bagels…” to the first real bit of site seeing on our trip. Prague castle.

You’ll probably be able to glean most “touristy” style information from here, but I may as well give you my impressions. First of all, this is what you are presented with as you walk up the hill that the castle is situated upon. We weren’t really sure what it meant as we took a photo and planned to find out later. After the trip was well and truly over, we found that it references the US missile defense “shield” with radar station play set. It turns out that the locals are not too happy with large superpowers putting military equipment on their land and telling them it’s for their own good. Hence “Yankee radar go home!”

We got to the castle itself and accidentally turned up at the right time to see the midday ceremonial guard changing. It left me wondering at what point during a countries history do they decide that the uniforms the army has are now the pinnacle of awesome? When do they decide that the coat has enough buttons and gold frogging? The castle itself is a pretty, yet old design. You can easily see where it used to be a functional fort with some chunks of it being thick wall. It’s also fairly obvious that the architects gave up making it defensive and just made it look more like a palace since it was captured several times over it’s life.

The various information dotted about is plenty for the casual traveller if you find the guided and audio tours a bit out of your price range. We did think that whoever wrote these pieces was very proud of the Czech history of throwing people out of windows. The cathedral was very impressive and like most large historical buildings, it had a tiny staircase to the highest part that everyone wanted to climb. It was a brisk jaunt to the top and we had to take a fair few swigs from the Captain’s trusty hip flask.

On the way back down, we took two rotations of the spiral staircase before we saw a portly woman struggling up the stairs towards us. “Don’t worry!” cried the Major, “You’re nearly half way there!”

Remember, major landmarks are easily spooked, so it’s best to photograph them from the bushes.