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How to start a long trek to Asia

“Gentlemen. A toast. To her Majesty the Queen!” Our first drink as a trio in a bar in Prague. The Major and Captain Oats had already popped out for a beer the night/morning we arrived, but there was no catbus and no toast. It’s generally acknowledged that things don’t ‘begin to happen’ unless I’m there to deal with it.

For example, my companions could not find the courage to get to the airport without me. I had planned a sensible time to get to the station when early in the morning I received a garbled phone call asking me to arrive an hour earlier. “Captain,” I said, “Captain, you’ve had too much sugar encapsulated cereal this morning. It’s putting your humors out of whack. Get some more bile into your system. Rub a little lard on the backs of your wrists so you can lick it when you’re stressed.” He whimpered a little, so I promised I’d make it as soon as I’d put my various affairs in order.

In the end I was a little late and we caught the train I’d originally intended. Coincidence or Magnificent Bastardry? You decide. I must say I didn’t consciously cause delay, it’s just something that happened. As it happened, our flight was delayed by 3 hours causing extreme gratitude from my cohorts for saving a little waiting time.

Checking in my guitar cost a reasonable £20. Not too bad considering the other two didn’t bring theirs at all! We will have just enough entertainment to keep us going until they get new ones as per the plan. Besides, The Major can play mine, I can sing and Oats can bumble along with the harmonica he found. Our low budget airline gave us some food vouchers to apologise for the delay. I opted to redeem it against a chicken and bacon sandwich. Oh the honey mustard dressing on it. Oh it was good. I shall write a song about how good it was…


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